How to look like a biker.

To ride a Harley, you need the look.

No. Shut up. To ride a Harley, you need a Harley. That’s it, everything else is optional, well except the helmet because it’s the law. So what’s all this about? The biker look.


The Stereotype according to Google (Note. This guy also looks like your uncle. Weird)

I’ve been riding for a little over a year. It’s been fun and I haven’t died. Yay!? But I’ve also been told I don’t dress like a biker. Wrong. I’ve never been one to follow a trend, but to make them! OK you’ve caught me, I’m not a trend setter. Well sometimes the trends come back for a while and I’m cool again (Remember the nerdy look? You’re Welcome)… Anyways. In this article we’ll be analyzing the biker stereo-types as found on this WikiHow.

“Old Leather Jacket”
Let’s begin with the “Bikers wear leather jackets”  Yeah leather jackets are cool, I can’t argue that. Even if you don’t plan to get a biker look, you should always have at least one, they are so practical.

“Leather boots.”
Ugh I personally don’t like boots when riding. I prefer biker sneakers. Check these out.
You might like boots, but they can get uncomfortable if you wear them all day, and sometimes they’re not even safer than a pair of converse. (If you get the wrong boots) These look good but don’t protect where it matters.

Headsock. I prefer headsocks cause they also keep my neck warm and stop all the little rocks and pebbles from hitting my neck and pecking at my wind pipe. You can also make it into quick neck gaiter when off the bike. The typical paisley bandanna is so overused that it just screams tacky, but if you can pull it off discretely, why not? But the DooRag is fine, not mandatory.

I’m a 90’s kid. I love denim. you can’t go wrong with denim, except….. when you’re in an accident. Denim is not as tough as leather and won’t protect as well. But putting holes and making your jeans distressed on purpose, come on…. that’s like a #1 sign you’re not a biker. We like to keep the skin on our bones, not on the pavement. If we can see your knees, goodbye kneecaps. Poser. I rarely see bikers with hole in their jeans, this one’s just dumb.

“Chain wallet”
Actual quote from the website. “There is nothing a biker fears more than having his wallet fall out while riding.”
Haha, no. It’s stupid cars. We hate getting run over by cars driven by distracted and cellphone using drivers. That’s my biggest fear, well that and getting run over by a semi. If you’re wearing a proper pair of jeans or riding pants, your wallet will not fall out. Wearing skinny jeans on the other hand, will. This is not however, your typical biker wear.

“Get a tattoo”
No, why? When you’re covered from head to toe in proper riding gear no one notices that dorky Metallica tattoo. Sometimes they don’t even know the color of your skin! Just watch, no one’s racist when you’re on a bike, because they don’t see you, they see the motorcycle. And everyone will equally hate you when you cut in between them at 60mph. Off the bike, maybe you wanna “look” tough, well a tattoo can’t fix that, sorry buddy, you’re still a wimp.

“Bikers need to have tough hair to match their tough persona.”
Stop this. Tough persona? That’s a quick way to spot a poser. Some of the nicest people you meet ride motorcycles. In regards to hair…. that’s really anything you want. Most people keep it short and practical, log works as long as it’s not flowing all over the place smacking you when you ride. Beards are optional though. I imagine they’d be good for keeping that neck warm. But a scarf does the job well. However I don’t recommend using hair gel when wearing a helmet, it flakes, so keep the hair product to a minimum

“Consider purchasing a motorcycle”
Well duh. This should be step 1. If you wanna look like a biker, ride a motorcycle. Please seriously consider buying one. It’s fun!

“Get a biker physique”
To be honest, this is actually a helpful tip for everyone. Long distance riding requires strength and stamina. It’s really tiring riding a motorcycle and you won’t last long if you’re a weak chub chub or thin skin mint. Shape up because it’s 500 pound on two wheels, and it doesn’t come with training wheels, baby.

“Frequent biker establishments.”
Motorcycles are lined up outside the old Mill Biker Bar establishment, Harley’s, Indians, and Triumphs, gleam in the sunlight outside the bar.
Inside the fan slowly spins as the heavy metal music plays in the background.
Tough biker guys are inside drinking beer and being rowdy.
Then, a lone ranger, the leather chapped, boot strapping, helmet carrying young man walks in and everyone notices him. The cool biker dude.

This never happens by the way. No one will notice and if you’re among friends they don’t mind.

But that’s up to you, when you ride often it’s pretty normal to get into biker meet ups, bars, midnight rides and Sunday trips to Daffodil Hill with the guys, (for reals that’s a thing). This just happens naturally when you make biker friends. Ask questions about their rides, any adventures, be a kind person, that’ll help get into the biker look. But if you’re a poser, you can’t fake it. If someone asks why you dress like a biker without a motorcycle, just admit that you don’t ride yet and you’re just wearing leather and denim because you felt like it.

Plus, bikers come in all looks and you wear what you like. I dress for safety, sure it makes me look fat. Yeah but I like black, flannel and denim. Does this make me a stereotypical biker? no, sometimes i wear a suit cause I have to go to a meeting. Is it safe? absolutely not. So what makes a biker? The bike.

If you’re worried about how you look rather than safety or comfort, then someone’s trying to sell you something. I’m not telling you you can’t do that or real bikers don’t ignore safety. But looks account for very little of the biker mentality.

Real bikers don’t care.
Teletubby jumpsuits, black leather, retro-reflective vests that can be seen from space, mens bathing suits…. (ok that lst one might get you pulled over for other reasons, you get my point). A biker wears anything he or she wants. Not everyone has to look like they just came out of a “Sons of Anarchy” episode. And even the bikers that dress like that, just do it cause they like it and don’t really tell you you should dress like they do. It’s no one’s business to say what your style is.

Kind of puts things in perspective, huh?

But pay attention to the last part of this video.

So yeah, it’s fine to dress like a wannabe cool biker, we get it, you wanna be cool, but being cool is all relative and any true biker would say do what you wanna do. There is no true biker look, it’s all about riding. So if you don’t ride a motorcycle yet and start hanging out with those who do, eventually you might get the courage to actually ride. so yeah dress up, make friends, have fun and be safe.


About Zerin

But can you show me the source code?

Posted on May 9, 2017, in Computers and Internet. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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