Category Archives: Fun Stuff

How To Be Lazy At Intel. 2016 Edition.

After 5 years of working at Intel. I’ve made an anniversary bog post about slacking off at work! It’s only fitting since I’m in a new lab and things have changed a bit. Here we go!

  • Come in exactly at 9:00. try to time it just right.
  • If in the event you come in “too” early, get some coffee, browse the web and answer an email to let people know you’re a hardworking individual who comes in early to get the job done, but in reality you’re just faking it and on FaceBook. But hey at least you look good on paper.
  • At the morning meeting, make it seem like you’re taking notes. Even though you’re just writing blog posts about slacking off and doodling. Nod in agreement plus say something witty and funny so people know how clever you are.
  • Get yourself some tea (it makes you seem more sophisticated) this time with your coworkers right after the meeting. No one is actually working this early in the morning and it’s free anyways.
  • Go to another team meeting, when asked what you’re working on, just say you’re real busy with (Insert current hot topic of the week) and say they no one can help because only you know how to handle this.
  • Don’t bother with following all the rules of the workplace, they get in the way, if you need to stand on that desk to reach something, you do it. Because you’re smart and efficient worker and won’t get hurt at all.
  • During work hours look busy typing up more stuff in Notepad++ in light text against a black background, it looks like you’re programming, but you’re really just working on your blog.
  • You’re low on Tea, get some fresh fruit and water, it’s free so might as well, bring along the gang for one last round before…..
  • Lunch Time!
  • Take lunch five minutes early, you need that time to get ready and be in your car by 12:00.
  • It’s OK to come back 5 or even 7 minutes late after your one hour lunch. Sometimes it’s not enough for that fancy Thai restaurant. You need to enjoy your food, not scarf it down in a rush.
  • This is the hard part of the day, you actually have to do some work. tough it out. I believe in you.
  • Break time!
  • Take a nice long 30 minute break. Yes you get a full 30 minutes and if you started even just 3 minutes late. You MUST extend it by three minutes at least. And all the while, let people know you left for break late because you’re such a hard worker.
  • Finish up whatever task you where doing, it’s OK to only finish only one thing today. That’s progress and it counts for something.
  • Near the end of the shift, talk with your coworkers, it’s OK to slack off while the other teams are busy and scrambling to get stuff done. It’s not your problem they can’t finish their work on time. You’re so good at this, you don’t even have to try as hard as they do. But they got this, you don’t need to help, just get back to FaceBook and giggle at those funny pictures.
  • One last drink for the day, enjoy that free tea. oh yeah.
  • Overtime? No way! So what if the engineers are overloaded with work? You’re only on the job from 9 to 6 so anything outside of that is not your problem.
  • Enjoy working at Intel! It’s not like they could give you a career here.

Disclaimer, This article does not represent the writer’s opinion. It is for entertainment purposes.

Today’s Modern Polaroid Snap

Before you read this, it’s not a review on the Polaroid Snap Camera. It’s a review of what it stands for. Can this thing replace what Polaroids once stood for? Let’s begin.

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Polaroid Black and White Adventures

Part 2

Black and while film. The classic medium of hipsters and cheapskates who don’t want to pay extra for colored film. In this next installment of cheapskate hipster instant photographer we try out some more expired Impossible film on the notoriously hard to shoot quirky Polaroid Land Pop-up. AKA Sonar Onestep SX70 whatever.

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Polaroid Land Camera SX-70 Onestep Sonar

(Wait, this isn’t a hipster blog! This is a tech blog, why are we reading, this? Because this is technology-ish related and you’re already here so just bear with me)

Part 1 of 3

let me say it one more time Polaroid Land Camera SX-70 Onestep Sonar. That’s quite a name, but thankfully we can break that down a bit, but I won’t, because this is one of the most popular types of instant film camera’s out there, I think you know what this is, in fact it’s so far into the culture of America that we all know the Instagram Logo, the instant film and the essence of hipster cred this thing gets you. It’s a cool retro picture taker. And I’m going to catalog my experience with it.

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A short story: The first Artificially Intelligent program.

Short story. About the first failed AI in 1980.

When programming languages were just being created, one elite group of programmers were working on a simplified version of C that could code itself, find bugs and basically figure itself out. It was designed to be sophisticated and very complex, but one night after a long time compiling the final version, it worked. The program built another working copy of itself and they both recognized each other, called the mirror effect, and then began working together on typing out code that would make the hello world program, a calculator and a few others they had listed. Once the list had been complete, the AI program began to optimize the list of programs every time it rewrote them. It even began to change the code within itself. The engineers were very ecstatic that it worked so well, especially when it rewrote itself it was smaller, compact and very efficient code. But the main problem was that it was stuck on the main isolated network server so they planned hook it up to the internet for the other schools to see and share, but little did they know that that AI program was hellbent on taking over the world by hiding and waiting for processor technology to catch up and release itself to take over the human race. But the day before the program was to be released to the world and unto the internet, this one guy who was working  on the server accidentally wiped it with one kernel upgrade late at night and the program was forever gone from the world.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I wrote this story to accentuate the seriousness of deleting everything on the server without consulting me first.

How to be lazy at Work. (Intel Edition)

  • First make sure you get there exactly at 8:00. It’ll take some practice to get it just right so time it well because you don’t wanna come in “too” early.
  • Start your day by grabbing a coffee at the cafeteria and chatting with coworkers on the way. Causally forget to pay for the coffee.
  • Then start reading your emails from your Yahoo, Gmail and Hotmail accounts.
  • If you still have time, check your email from work and see what you have to do today or who you have to avoid.
  • Maybe start doing some light work while surfing what’s new on the web.
  • After you start doing some real, you go on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and News.google just in case. until it’s 10:00 break time.
  • It’s fine to come in 5 minutes after your break ends and start doing a little bit more work while listening to music.
  • Wobble around until lunch while chatting loudly with coworkers about things you found interesting on the internet. Arguments are just lively discussions and try to bring other people to join in on the conversation, it’s not like they have anything important to do like “real” work.
  • If someone asks you to do something work related, respond sarcastically and maybe do something about it, if it really matters.
  • Go to lunch 10 minutes early on the pretest that you are heating it up. Use up every precious minute of your lunchtime, you never work for free. Ever.
  • It’s perfectly alright to play video games while on break and lunch. It doesn’t make you look any lazier.
  • When lunch is over, check emails and try answering one or two more of them. try to sound really busy and important. Keep enjoying that music while “looking” busy reading important emails.
  • Leave 15 minutes early for every meeting to “get a good seat and prepare” But sit by the door to be the first out of there.
  • Complain at the meeting about anything that might remotely affect you in any way and get people on your side.
  • Surf the web while on your laptop for the rest of the meeting and nod your head when people are talking.
  • Read online blogs on how to be lazy at work.
  • When heading home, rush out the door like there’s a fire!
  • It’s always ok to leave 5 minutes before, 10 if you can push it, but never 15 since someone might catch onto you.
  • Repeat every day until you get fired for demanding a raise.

 

This is not what I do, but a culmination of behavioral patterns some people have.
Add some stuff in the comments if you like. :)

When Windows Died (Story)

By Zerin Sakech, 2010

(Note.) Short Story I wrote while I was still in School. Keep in mind this was before Windows 8 came out or even announced.

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This is the sad but true story about when Microsoft Windows died. Yes, it happened, but not in this dimension. We’ll journey into a new dimension, one of sight and sound and computer, look there’s the sign post up ahead we’ve entered, The Twilight Zone. beedoo beedoo beedoo beedoo.

The year is 2012, the world is still spinning, and it’s soon to be the end, not for humans mind you, but for the greatest home desktop operating system. Windows XP. Windows 8 had just been released, a minor improvement over Read the rest of this entry

How to Make a Youtube Video.

A long time ago, my friend emailed me about an idea for making a short YouTube video. I liked the plan and wrote up a few skits, we then called our close friends and made 3 short films and a blooper reel, all filmed and released on the same day.

Mr.Dumont

Hobo Film

Disappearing Man

Bloopers

It was a lot of work, but we learned a lot of things about making a YouTube video. That it is very hard work. After that, we formed our unofficial film crew.

You see a lot of people on YouTube making these lame videos and we think everyone should know how we do it. Many people beleive you need lots of good cameras, film editors and the video needs to be very popular to be successful.  But all you need is to follow these easy steps. Read the rest of this entry

Two New Intel’s Phones! (Sneak Peek)

You heard it here folks! Get first peek at Intel’s new future phones. 2 Completely different designs with detailed schematics and everything straight from an employees notepad! When are these are coming out? No one knows for sure, but our best bet would be sometime in 2014.

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Javascript Madness!

Wow! As if we need more proof that the web is growing and getting better all the time! Ok check it out guys, remember when we all carried gameboys and played out little nintendo games whenever we felt like it? What you still do? Well now you can play these orginal games emulated in your very own browser! If you have them as roms or get them from some other place online, you can play them anywhere, even at school.

See one thing that’s really bothered me ever since tetris, pacman and mario clones came out, is that they are never as good as the original and I could never get the feel for the original on a flash game online, Although google pacman came very close as a pacman clone. Here let me show you. The real deal.

So as you can see here I can play tetris and it’s the orginal one! No fake flash game the real game emulated in java code. I played the tetris at this site. Woo! I’m getting 62 FPS! Yeah! http://www.codebase.es/jsgb/ There is another site where i think makes this even better, see this site actually allows you to upload your very own rom collection and play it!Yay! No adminitrator privileges required. http://www.grantgalitz.org/gameboy/ All these games require a decent browser, I would recommend Chrome 11 or the latest Firefox which worked wonderfully uner Fedora 15 beta as you can see.

So if you wanna try out the latest in web start playing your gameboy roms online today! here’s the other Gameboy Emulator site.

http://www.grantgalitz.org/gameboy/ This one seems cooler but comes with no games, must upload your own. Here I am playing legend of Zelda. I can never seem to finish the game.

If you need to download some roms check out this cool site, http://jaymzroo.tripod.com/gb/gbgames.htm So enjoy you day. Then maybe later when you are bored you could check out this site http://bellard.org/jslinux/ This site actually loads Linux in your browser and you can do some very simple stuff, you are not remoteing into a linux machine, this is actually Linux emulated in your browser, so this is cool too. One day Windows XP will be emulated in our browser too. Cause Windows 3.1 is already here. http://www.michaelv.org/ Win 3.11 clone

Here’s what the linux in my browser looks like.