How To Be Lazy At Intel. 2016 Edition.

After 5 years of working at Intel. I’ve made an anniversary bog post about slacking off at work! It’s only fitting since I’m in a new lab and things have changed a bit. Here we go!

  • Come in exactly at 9:00. try to time it just right.
  • If in the event you come in “too” early, get some coffee, browse the web and answer an email to let people know you’re a hardworking individual who comes in early to get the job done, but in reality you’re just faking it and on FaceBook. But hey at least you look good on paper.
  • At the morning meeting, make it seem like you’re taking notes. Even though you’re just writing blog posts about slacking off and doodling. Nod in agreement plus say something witty and funny so people know how clever you are.
  • Get yourself some tea (it makes you seem more sophisticated) this time with your coworkers right after the meeting. No one is actually working this early in the morning and it’s free anyways.
  • Go to another team meeting, when asked what you’re working on, just say you’re real busy with (Insert current hot topic of the week) and say they no one can help because only you know how to handle this.
  • Don’t bother with following all the rules of the workplace, they get in the way, if you need to stand on that desk to reach something, you do it. Because you’re smart and efficient worker and won’t get hurt at all.
  • During work hours look busy typing up more stuff in Notepad++ in light text against a black background, it looks like you’re programming, but you’re really just working on your blog.
  • You’re low on Tea, get some fresh fruit and water, it’s free so might as well, bring along the gang for one last round before…..
  • Lunch Time!
  • Take lunch five minutes early, you need that time to get ready and be in your car by 12:00.
  • It’s OK to come back 5 or even 7 minutes late after your one hour lunch. Sometimes it’s not enough for that fancy Thai restaurant. You need to enjoy your food, not scarf it down in a rush.
  • This is the hard part of the day, you actually have to do some work. tough it out. I believe in you.
  • Break time!
  • Take a nice long 30 minute break. Yes you get a full 30 minutes and if you started even just 3 minutes late. You MUST extend it by three minutes at least. And all the while, let people know you left for break late because you’re such a hard worker.
  • Finish up whatever task you where doing, it’s OK to only finish only one thing today. That’s progress and it counts for something.
  • Near the end of the shift, talk with your coworkers, it’s OK to slack off while the other teams are busy and scrambling to get stuff done. It’s not your problem they can’t finish their work on time. You’re so good at this, you don’t even have to try as hard as they do. But they got this, you don’t need to help, just get back to FaceBook and giggle at those funny pictures.
  • One last drink for the day, enjoy that free tea. oh yeah.
  • Overtime? No way! So what if the engineers are overloaded with work? You’re only on the job from 9 to 6 so anything outside of that is not your problem.
  • Enjoy working at Intel! It’s not like they could give you a career here.

Disclaimer, This article does not represent the writer’s opinion. It is for entertainment purposes.

HHKB LITE 2 (Insane in the Membrane)

This is going to be a test of the emergency escape system. The first thing I noticed on the happy hacking keyboard was that the backspace key, which I sadly seem to rely upon a lot in life, (Like most things) is right where the `~ key is and it makes for a lot of mistakes, its not something I’d like to get used to. But the regular keys typing is really something of a natural feel though the mushy rubber dome keys are not to my liking.

hhkb_lite_2

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What happened to the ScreenSaver?

Oh the joy of navigating a Starfield, the adventuring through a maze with the rat, flipping rock and it’s dead ends, only to find a trophy and begin all over again. What happened to all the cool ScreenSavers?

 

I remember my Elementary school and the computer lab had these amazing distracting images of scenes that would flicker ALL day long until school was over and the teacher shut them down for the night, only to start them up again the next school day.

What has changed? Technology that’s what changed. Let’s start with the reason screensavers existed before.

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Today’s Modern Polaroid Snap

Before you read this, it’s not a review on the Polaroid Snap Camera. It’s a review of what it stands for. Can this thing replace what Polaroids once stood for? Let’s begin.

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Polaroid Black and White Adventures

Part 2

Black and while film. The classic medium of hipsters and cheapskates who don’t want to pay extra for colored film. In this next installment of cheapskate hipster instant photographer we try out some more expired Impossible film on the notoriously hard to shoot quirky Polaroid Land Pop-up. AKA Sonar Onestep SX70 whatever.

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Polaroid Land Camera SX-70 Onestep Sonar

(Wait, this isn’t a hipster blog! This is a tech blog, why are we reading, this? Because this is technology-ish related and you’re already here so just bear with me)

Part 1 of 3

let me say it one more time Polaroid Land Camera SX-70 Onestep Sonar. That’s quite a name, but thankfully we can break that down a bit, but I won’t, because this is one of the most popular types of instant film camera’s out there, I think you know what this is, in fact it’s so far into the culture of America that we all know the Instagram Logo, the instant film and the essence of hipster cred this thing gets you. It’s a cool retro picture taker. And I’m going to catalog my experience with it.

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My Dirty Little List of Favorite Windows Software

I don’t usually like or even use Microsoft products, but when I do, I make sure it’s ones that have passed the test of time. Here’s a quick list of my favorite Microsoft Software throughout the years.

I shall begin with Windows Movie Maker. The early version of Windows Movie Maker (WMM 2.1 was included in Windows XP SP2 and SP3) was very limited in video formats but had a nice clean timeline for editing.

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Why I choose to run Linux based Operating Systems.

I’m not going to say it’s easier, better in every way and just peaches and cream or whatever else is nice. Working with a Linux Operating system for me is control, efficient and just the right amount of fun. Plus having knowledge that it’s broken due to some fault of my own means I can spend less time fixing someone else’s problem and go straight to fixing my own.

It wasn’t the reliability or the hardware compatibility even though going in I knew it was going to be a lot more work than usual, it was the control, freedom and scale-ability I needed and wanted. Could you imagine using a computer and if you wanted more software features like File sharing. Web server. Remote desktop. Automated tasks. And it’s just “easier” to reinstall to a newer operating system? Ridiculous.

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Quick Tips and Tricks

I usually run into situations where people are amazed by the quick and simple things we do and take for granted on a computer. I’ve decided to make a list of my daily used shortcuts that I use working on a Computer. Windows or Linux. Just for my personal reference and to share.

The Basics on Documents

Ctrl + C to copy lines of words or pictures. This is so common that it’s not a waste of memory to remember this one, it just saves so much time from clicking.

Ctrl + X to CUT lines of images, it removes but saves in an imaginary clipboard for later use. be wary as this clipboard only holds one thing and not for very long. At least until your next reboot.

Ctrl + V paste whatever you cut or copied using the Ctrl + C or X commands you used previously.

Ctrl + S Get into the habit of saving often. Saves your work with a simply tap.

Ctrl + Z undo your last mistakes! I need this button for real life. And for computers it’s limited on how many times you can undo, especially on paint and word documents. In fact, sometimes save will override this function and you can only undo until your last saved file.

On Windows or Linux GUI

ALT + F4 will close any window you are currently on. Very handy if you know what i mean.

ALT + Tab changes the Windows you are working on, it helps when you’re switching back and forth from the same two windows. Like when you need to copy and paste little bits of data a piece at a time.

ALT + Shift + Tab is similar to the last one, but in reverse. Keep holding the ALT button to see what’s currently running.

DELETE have you actually used the delete button on your computer? It does exactly what it says and works better than right clicking on something and clicking again to delete.

Home, Page UP, Page Down, End. Since the invention of the web browser we’ve relaid on the mouse to help us scroll through pages of information, but give that wheel a rest as you can now scroll sections at a time with page up and down! Need to see the bottom of the page? End. Need to go back to the top? Home.

Two Finger Scrolling. My goodness! Laptops with touchpads have needed this for ages! When two finger scrolling came into practice my only thought was “About time!”. Enabling this is only a quick google guide away, but not difficult as most laptops have this feature enabled by default, as the old method was incredibly obtrusive. Quick Guide on enabling Two Finger Scrolling

On Google Chrome

Ctrl + Shift + T brings up the previously closed tab, keep pressing T to bring up the one before that.

Ctrl + T just bring up a new empty blank tab

Ctrl + W closes current tab

Ctrl + Tab changes the tabs ONLY in the web browser. Remember the SHIFT button to put it in reverse as well, try it.

Addons: While we’re on the topic of Google Chrome… For years there have been amazing addons that make your web browsing experience either terrible or much better. A popular addon that’s been floating around for years is AdblockPlus. It’s self updating with every Chrome version so it’s very out of the way and does a great job of helping clean up ugly ads that get in the way. very recommended for safer web browsing on Windows and Linux.

Finally

You can already know these and many more depending on the work you do in the office or on a computer, but the basics remain and this list is something everyone who works daily on a computer system should know as it facilitates our computer experience.

Blue Screen of Death (Windows)

BSOD Debug

8664.New-BSOD-in-Windows-8_5A7DB394

When you get a blue screen of death there are a few things you should try to figure out why this happened. A blue screen of death means your computer or machine has crashed beyond the point of recovery and MUST be rebooted and/or fixed. When you see this problem, it will not be fixed on it’s own. EVER, on maybe rarely. But this is a Windows specific thing since Linux and Mac aren’t common enough to have buggy software or crummy hardware fail them considering quality and build specs are usually custom built by the user or manufacturer. But since Windows can be built on shoddy hardware and be mis-configured easily, let’s see a common troubleshoot checklist.

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